Blog For Free!
Archives
Home
2004 November
2004 October
2004 September
2004 August
2004 July
My Links
Ken's Blog
tBlog
My Profile
Send tMail
My tFriends
My Images
Sponsored
Blog
|
| autumn not in NY |
| 09.30.04 (6:35 pm) [edit] |
In honor of autumn, I've changed my blog colors. Hope you like, k.!
I've been in a better mood lately and I think it has to do with walking more in the cool weather. This morning I actually had time to get a chai. It's the small things like the barista's smile in the morning that sets the day off right.
I want to be all philosophical right now and talk deep surrounded by coffee house aromas, but I guess a good walk with Frou Frou will have to do--and Will & Grace when I get home.
Maybe when I get back, I'll have a story for you. In the meantime, be well and smack your lips for the love of life.
|
|
|
| |
| On the verge |
| 09.21.04 (4:09 pm) [edit] |
I saw an interview yesterday morning. Diane Swoyer with Bette Midler, the Divine Miss M. herself. Diane said to her, "You said once that something about you is always on the verge of tears." Bette said, "I think anyone who's experienced loss and tragedy is like that." It's part of humanity. One of the qualities she admires most in her college daughter, Sophie, is her optomism of the world. The hard part is how to maintain that hope in the world, in people--to try and keep seeing the good.
My strong center has been hit by an earthquake. My windows shattered, iron beams mangled like twisted pipecleaners, broken foreign objects ejected by the unseen force. At times like these it's a challenge to see the beauty of a salmon streaked sunset when all you can concentrate on is your broken shoelace among the rubble.
I want autumn in the country. Wearing sweaters and watching the scenery zoom by with the windows down.
I want to connect--and not with any screen offering me a person on the other side.
I want coffee chats, tea by a river or in a car...and not alone.
For once I want to not feel excluded as a new comer, a distant friend, a niece, daughter, cousin, sister who lives in Philly or the States.
I want to share life and smiles and hugs and sympathy for all its worth.
I want to hear the birds again and church bells in the valley instead of city sounds assaulting my ears.
Take me away from here.
On the verge...
|
|
|
| |
| Love all around |
| 09.17.04 (4:41 pm) [edit] |
Just as a disclaimer (is that even the right word?):
I didn't mean for it to sound like my new work peeps are soooo unlike my other friends. I've just never worked a job where I'm in the same environment with people around my own age. So just know that i love all of you just as you are, just that i don't see you, like, everyday like i do them. It really makes working tons better.
What a horrible english/grammar week. I talk like I'm twelve. If only I were Judy Blume.
|
|
|
| |
| Looking up |
| 09.17.04 (1:15 pm) [edit] |
It looks like the sky is going to pee at any moment. Recently I've been questioning why I'm keeping this blog. If it's for me, or more so, if it's to let other people in on what I'm thinking about, what's going on. I guess it's a mixture. I don't want it to turn into one of those "This is What I DID today" journals because my new job is like I sold my soul to Disney, so if I told you anything of my day I'd probably have to send the Italian mafia after you. I wouldn't be surprised if they owned every word I'm writing here, every idea I present, every--single--letter.
Corporations these days. Thank goodness for my awesome office buddies. finally peeps who speak my lingo, laugh, and still take their job seriously. hell, if I'm going to be a work-a-holic 7 days a week damn straight I better be in good company.
|
|
|
| |
| Extrovert |
| 09.14.04 (11:56 am) [edit] |
I feel like I've been through hell and back. My laptop got infected again with a gazillion viruses and bugs, making my internet ridiculously non-existant. I experienced numerous frustrating days of seeming to jam squares into circles and tried to convince myself just because I didn't hear back from my job interviews doesn't mean I SUCK. In the meantime, I met a lot of great people while working the box office of a Fringe show in the city here. Like in high school when we did shows, it's like you never want it to end--everyone has so much energy and good times--but inevitably, people move on. I arrived to my internship on Monday and just as I was about to go out for my "good-bye" lunch, Ellen grabbed me to talk--to say they'd love to have me, if I accept. I ACCEPT! I ACCEPT! yay...no longer jobless. That same day, I got my computer cleaned up and my internet finally running flawlessly.
I've met so many wonderfully talented and energetic people within the past few days: a singer who performed in Baz Luhrman's La Boheme (sp?), the musician who created the music for "Pete & Pete" (any of you twenty-something's remember that show from Nickelodeon?), so many wonderful artists and musicians, singers, three business women who despite their motherly appearances and sagging chins, have more connections in the entertainment business industry than an LA phone book and can drive a deal with their tongue in cheak better than Oprah.
I still have so much to learn. Oh yeah, and that lunch? We made it into a celebratory one. Chinese food. My fortune?
"Depart not from the path which fate has you assigned."
No. I'm not joking.
|
|
|
| |
| the art of living your life |
| 09.04.04 (10:19 am) [edit] |
"what happens after age nine?
because of fear we don't trust our life,
our story, or our magic...
...keep out of your own way."
-neruda
|
|
|
| |
| Messy, thrilling life |
| 09.04.04 (6:45 am) [edit] |
It's been too long, I know. I want to be poetic and happy, but right now I can use some tea time, a good bawl over chai.
I moved into my new studio apt. last week and can safely say now that I'm officially settled. Adjusted? no. No one is around anymore. Everyone is so far away. My inner voice is driving me crazy with doubt about everything from recent job interviews to friendships to the lack of my own artwork/writing. I've watched the whole 1st season of Six Feet Under and too much tv just to hear other people's voices and not have to listen to my own. oh gosh, this is sounding really pathetic isn't it.
...time to change...
so after reading Sabrina Ward Harrison's new book "Messy, Thrilling Life" I've realized so many things.
Like her, I get very anxious when I don't feel my life going anywhere. It takes motivation and bravery to leap rocks in rivers, even if they're little streams. If I never take first steps, I'll never know what's on the other side. And when I reach a point where the distance between rocks is too long--I can always build a bridge and get over myself.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
